From Seeing to…Being a Mom!

We have been watching an episode of The Middle as a family every evening with devotion. It's a delightful sitcom about a couple raising their 3 kids in the state of Indiana. A comedy that is relatable and makes us appreciate the roller-coaster of parenthood. This particular episode was asking the kids if they had to choose one parent, who would it be? My GoodMan turns to our children and asks, “Who would you both pick?” Our mellow kid refuses to pick one over the other but our fierce one proudly announces, “I would pick Nani(maternal Grandma) hands down!” Obviously, that isn't one of the choices but now, who will argue with a strong willed teen.

Suddenly I felt like I was surrounded by my mom's warmth. Her gentle voice, brave heart and pure soul have always made me feel loved. When I would return from school, my mom would wait for me, pick me up from the bus stop, encouraging me to not take the elevator and take the flight of stairs instead. Our apartment was on the 2nd floor but would make me climb all the way to the top of the 7 story building and then return down to the 2nd floor! But she would always accompany me. From making braids in my tresses to taking me to a moving van library, from teaching me to cook to making snacks (bhel) and sandwiches after I returned from work, from shopping for me to shopping with me and everything in between. My whole childhood is filled with adventures around my sweet mom. She was a stern disciplinary and I was frantic about her being upset and yet, I always wanted to be with her. On days when she would be tired, angry and strict with us, she would crawl in the middle of the night to kiss and hug us and then softly apologize for being human. She loved dearly and wholeheartedly but wanted her children to be raised by good character.

“All that I am or ever hope to be, I owe to my angel mother.” — Abraham Lincoln

She was overworked and running on all engines but always looked beautiful. Because she had domestic help, she was considered privileged. The fact that she had 3 demanding children, in-laws living together and a constant stream of guests did not seem to differ that judgment. She toiled in the kitchen all morning and spent evenings playing table tennis or other games with us and our friends. I remember running to her between playtime and pulling the edge of her sari to let it hang free. That would bring a smile on her lips and twinkle in her eyes. Although she was not highly educated, she encouraged us to work hard and instilled healthy habits in us. Eating right and exercise were the backbone of raising her kids. She practiced exactly what she preached.

She catered to everyone's needs and nurtured values in us. She patiently listened to my long conversations about school even though she struggled to be enthusiastic about the details. She depended on my Dad to manage the finances but was always keen to learn. She never drove a car but managed all the errands on foot. I always knew she was perfect but over time I have learned to appreciate her grit and wit. All the struggles that we faced as a family were slowly overcome because of her unwavering dedication to find a way out. She fought her constant health challenges but continued to stay powerful and practical.

Even today, I receive a call from her daily and that is my safe haven. A place where I can express myself freely and feel I am heard. A few days ago, I told her, “I need a break. My kids are overly committed and I am constantly in and out of the house driving them places.” She firmly responded, “You are not doing anyone a favor by taking care of your own children. And what is there to get tired?” For my own sake, I politely changed the subject.

She corrects me when I’m wrong, is filled with pride when I succeed, and reassures me when I’m scared. She is my rock and she still mothers me. Recently, when I visited her, I complained about my shoulder hurting. She was saddened initially but quickly, and correctly judged, “Why are you carrying rocks in your handbag everywhere you go? No wonder your shoulder is in pain. You don't take care of yourself, always running around.” She would dash to get bio-freeze and rub it on my shoulder even as I was walking out the door.

“A mother understands what a child does not say” - Jewish proverb

For a long time, I saw women around me express the sheer love one feels for their child. It is beyond imagination and only completely understood when you actually become a mom. Once, instantly, and the other time, gradually but eventually it felt like a tremendous force that hit me. A deep wave of emotions, immense love and constant concern clouded my mind through out the day. Being a mom showed me the power of unconditional love and has helped me understand the phrase ‘Love is Blind’. Although there is definitely more to me than being a mother, there is not a single aspect of who I am or what I do that is not affected at varying degrees, due to motherhood. It overtakes everything. It's a high demanding, full contact sport, played 24/7. All day. All night. Even when the kids are sleeping or not at home.

On days when our children are being difficult, my GoodMan will say, “Tell your daughter that she needs to turn off the shower. It's been over 30minutes.” Or he will complain, “Your son made me wait 15 minutes outside his practice until he finally showed up.” Obviously it's in good humor and I always respond, “Yes, they are both mine. I don't want to hear anything against them.” words my GoodMan loves to take in!

“At the end of the day my most important job is still mom-in-chief.” – Michelle Obama

Sports fans, and most people in general, are curious to know why one of the greatest soccer players in the World, Cristiano Ronaldo’s mother, still lives with him in the same house. He was asked a similar question in a recent interview and his response was, “My mother reared me up by sacrificing her life for me. She went to bed hungry to feed me. We had no money. She worked 7 days a week and worked nights as a cleaner to buy me a pair of football boots so I could play. My whole Success is dedicated to her. And as long as she lives, she will always have everything I can give her. She is my sanctuary and my greatest gift,” Cristiano said.

I may not be even marginally capable of doing for my mom what Cristiano Ronaldo is doing for his. But on this Mother's Day, I want to take the opportunity to tell her...

“You are the most beautiful woman in the World. You are my favorite Chef. You are my best friend. You are my pillar of strength. I aspire to be like you in every way. You make everything better. I am so blessed that you are MY mom.

I Love You!”

And to my children on Mother's Day…

“Thank you for choosing me to be your mom. You are the reason I breathe and the reason for every happiness in life. You are the color of my life and the meaning of my existence. Even though I grumble and grouse, I would never want it another way. Being YOUR mom is my highest honor.

I Love you more than you know!”

~ MG

PS: Watch this sweet short video perfect for Mother's Day ❤️ https://youtu.be/jyMZ_LOVcvo