Care if you Can!

December 17th, 2021 marked the 67th Birthday of a sweet aunt of mine. Thinking about her, I realized how she has lived her life offering utmost care to everyone around her. Caring for her in-laws, her spouse, her children, my mother and just generally everyone around her. She has always been the strongest advocate and the most tireless fighter for her loved ones. She has toiled hard to prepare and please others. Caring simply wholeheartedly. In my wishes to her, I wrote, "Happy Birthday to someone who cares for everyone.”

“Too often, we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around” - Leo Buscaglia

Thinking about a caring person brings a gentle and soft personality to mind. However the opposite is only true. Caring people are invariably strong. Strong emotionally and mentally. Physical strength is optional. People who care, cannot stand by idly and watch others suffer. People who care, help others when in need. People who care, express in words and actions. People who care, sacrifice their time and money to help others. People who care, make others feel like they matter. People who care, let others see their own weaknesses. This arises from self care. When we care about ourselves, we also understand that we don't always need to fight all our battles alone. Hence, seeking help and guidance is a sign of strength and self care. Caring is a virtue of the strong.

I was recently invited to participate in the planning process of the kindness week under Westborough Connects. It was delightful to be in a room full of wonderful people who have been planning, organizing and conducting this and more such events in our small town to spread compassion and care. Each one of them has a successful career and a family, yet make the time to care for the greater good. It was humbling to belong with such generous individuals. Caring people voluntarily serve others, even when they don't necessarily have the luxury of time.

A delightful couple, also our dear friends, have a company in Massachusetts and employ over 600 talented people back in India. Along with working under the pandemic, they took steps to ensure the health and safety of their workforce. They made arrangements, got doses and held vaccination sites at the company premises for their employees and their families. Their company created a program, Aatman, which is a platform to help, guide and motivate people in choosing healthier options, making some behavior modifications and adopting these practices in their daily routine. The activities and programs are designed in a way that would help individuals work and achieve all the aspects of wellbeing such as Physical, Nutritional, Emotional, Intellectual, Social and Spiritual Health. It roots from a deeper conviction to care for their employees. This brilliant company was rightfully listed in the top 14 companies as Healthy Workplaces by The Hindu recently.

“Fight for the things that you care about, but do it in a way that will lead others to join you” - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

The most heartwarming story of care I read came from Ohio. A customer named Susan had become close to a Dunkin Donut employee named Ebony after visiting a drive through some time back. When one day she found out that her favorite employee was not at work because she had been evicted from her affordable housing arrangement, Susan got some help and bought Ebony a completely furnished home for her and her young children right before Christmas this year. This is uplifting and heartening to share. A common misconception to debunk is that care has to be financial in this materialist society. Maybe one doesn't have the means to support financially, that shouldn't restrict the possibility to care for others. Cooking a meal, leaving a comment or recommendation on social media, taking a dog for a walk or simply taking the time to listen, offer huge comfort. Delegating a small task can also express care in a way where the subject feels capable and worthy.

Whether it’s trying to reduce your carbon footprint or supporting local businesses, there are numerous ways to care. Giving a ride to a fellow neighbor or calling to check on a friend. Volunteering at the local food pantry or adopting a pet. A caring person provides small acts of kindness without expecting anything in return every day. Show you love one another by saying thank you to the person who holds the door open for you or giving more hugs to your family and friends. Hugging shows you care about that person’s feelings, as well as their health, as hugging has stress-reducing and health-related benefits. Small actions like these are worth more than the grandest intention. A simple Jadoo ki Jhappi (the magic of a hug) can cure and comfort.

Caring is sometimes mistaken as interference or being overbearing. My GoodMan fits that description perfectly. When he repeatedly calls me and texts me, to a point that I feel totally and always watched out, I have to make the effort to remind myself that it branches from the utmost care he has towards me. If I complain about it to my family and friends, they will defend him by saying, “This is just how much he loves and cares about you.” It took a long time of 17yrs, but I have eventually learned to accommodate this as a byproduct of affection.

“Some people care too much. I think it's called Love” - Winnie the Pooh

There are numerous people and causes that deserve care including oneself, in other words, called self care. It's a simple necessary feature that means making your mental and physical health a priority in life. Our world generally refers to self care and mental health as a priority. It shows in behavior like getting enough sleep and eating well, and in many other aspects of life. We strive hard to present like we have it all together and can handle it all, every single time. This is unreasonable and unrealistic. No matter how much we try, we do burnout time and again. Like the famous airline safety guidelines, wear your oxygen mask first before helping others, taking care of yourself empowers you to be capable of helping others.

“Remember that children, marriages, and flower gardens reflect the kind of care they get.” - H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

Later that day, my aunt confessed that although she was happy to know that I referred to her as the ‘most caring person around’, she thought her sister in law deserved that accolade instead. She went on to share how her sister in law cares about the old and the young endlessly. How she passionately works to make life better for all. How she prays for peace and prosperity for our large family. How, although being the youngest in charge, she has fulfilled her responsibilities with finesse and continues to succeed. It warmed my soul to hear her honest compliments for my another gracious aunt. Caring is contagious!

If we spread kindness and care out into the Universe, it most definitely comes back. One does not need to be a rich philanthropist, retired personnel or even a social worker to care for other people. There are many opportunities for everyone to offer care and support others. People need it, animals need it and even our earth needs it. Care for as many causes as possible.

So go ahead—make someone’s day. Do something kind for someone you care…like the simple neighborhood kid who stopped by to give a box of chocolates and an ornament for our tree recently. Totally filled our hearts :)

Care: We are the ones who need it and we are the ones who can!

~ MG