Trust Me … I Know

Like for many, 2020 was especially a testing time. In April, my GoodMan was diagnosed with the Covid-19 infection. By the time the schools closed for the Summer, my GoodMan lost his job due to the pandemic. And if this was not enough to label 2020 as awful, a medical care came knocking for attention. It shook the earth beneath our feet. Starting October through mid December, we marched inside inpatient and outpatient hospital wards. It broke down our most precious pearls.

We are blessed to be surrounded by numerous kind and caring family members and friends who helped us in immeasurable ways. Each little act of emotional strength and moral support gave us hope. We expressed our trust in them all and they in turn took over our needs and so much more. Each one mattered to us deeply.

Between this chaos, there was one principled couple whom we trusted to make even the highly critical decisions about treatment. We shared the most private diagnosis and doctors opinions with them. Beyond being intellectual and intuitive, they also had our best interests in heart. There were times when the treatment felt like torture but they made us stick with it and did not allow us to become weak. We shared a minute by minute progress and a daily update about our conditions. Even though they could not solve all our problems, they made sure we were not facing them alone. This included their two young boys who prayed for us every night. This comfort, this bond and this trust helped us come to shore. Today, when we cover our two monkeys in hugs, we cherish our friends who proved to be completely dependable. Many friends who heard about our struggles a little later were equally supportive. Trust takes years to build, seconds to break, and forever to repair.

“The best way to find out if you can trust somebody is to trust them.” – Ernest Hemingway

My GoodMan and I handled our situation with an open book approach. We did not hide any facts or conditions that were upon us with anyone who cared. We bestowed our trust on them. I understand that is not always easy. When you trust someone, you give them the power to hurt you. I know many will guard around their personal affairs in constant fear of judgment. Some rarely trust others enough to share their own experiences and go to great lengths to cover their choices. Based on our own personal past negative experiences, we all set up our litmus test. We get hurt and disappointed and then decide, "I am not going to do it ever again. I will not share anything with anyone." We assume that the only way to protect ourselves is to put up barriers all around us and not all anyone inside easily.

Logically it makes absolute sense. Completely practical. However, this attitude leaves us insecure and weak. Fear does not allow us to express freely and trust easily. The funny thing is that no matter how careful we are, how thick the walls we put up, or whatever we do to try to keep ourselves from getting hurt and disappointed; it usually happens anyway. Instead, what if we could trust a little easier? This doesn't mean giving your social security number to a friend or your bank account details to a colleague. It suggests, be willing to make yourself vulnerable, to count on other people in a genuine and healthy way and to expect the best from others authentically. It is definitely an act of courage. Michael Bernard Beckwith calls this being "consciously naïve," which may seem a little oxymoronic on the surface, but at a much deeper level is a very wise and profound concept.

“To be trusted is a greater compliment than being loved.” – George MacDonald

We are told that people must earn our trust when in fact we have to grant them our trust and then see if they can keep it. We get what we expect in life. My GoodMan and I expected our family and friends to be there for us and they went over and beyond. As Albert Einstein so brilliantly stated, "The most important decision we make is whether we believe we live in a friendly or hostile universe." Our Universe is friendly and makes our life colorful.

Trusting is liberating while holding guard, can be tiring. Our life revolves around passing on trust to others.

• We entrust a child care with our tender ones.

• We trust doctors with caring for our health.

• We trust banks with our savings.

• We trust our employers for regular paychecks and we trust our employees to do their best for our business.

• We trust coaches to keep players safe over the need to win.

Almost every connection involves a certain level of trust. Trust is an important and tender aspect of all relationships because it requires us to choose to be vulnerable and courageous.

The most recent conversation is around how many people are willing to trust the Covid-19 vaccine. I know a few don't trust the pharmaceutical companies and our government. The process of developing a viable COVID-19 vaccine candidate may appear like it occurred at lighting speed — because it did, according to Infectious Disease News Editorial Board Member Jeanne M. Marrazzo, MD, MPH, director of the division of infectious diseases at the University of Alabama at Birmingham School of Medicine.

“But it’s important to remember the robust foundation that enabled that pace,” she said. “Many scientists were really interested in the use of mRNA to ‘direct’ the cell to produce proteins that subsequently elicit antibodies,” Marrazzo said. “This work goes back decades and has progressed steadily, positioning this vaccine for quick development.”

Additionally, experts agreed that funding — which is typically a problem in vaccine development — was not hard to come by during the pandemic. One of the best ways to get this message across to the public is to let the science speak for itself.

“We have to rely on the trials’ clinical data and trust that regulatory authorities are carefully evaluating the vaccines,” Marrazzo said. “It’s really encouraging to see that both the U.K. and Canadian regulatory authorities approved the Pfizer vaccine, for example — that says there is consensus on what the data look like and a commitment to get these out quickly.”

Bill and Melinda Gates say, "Although history will probably remember these as the darkest days of the pandemic, hope is finally on the horizon. It's possible that by the time you read this, you or someone you know may have already received a Covid-19 vaccine. The fact that these vaccines are already becoming available is, we think, pretty remarkable — and all credit is due to the largest public health effort the world has ever seen. No one country or company could have achieved this alone: Funders around the world pooled resources, competitors shared research findings, and everyone involved had a head start thanks to many years of global investment in technologies that have helped unlock a new era in vaccine development."

“To earn trust, money and power aren’t enough; you have to show some concern for others. You can’t buy trust in the supermarket.” – Dalai Lama

One dictionary definition of trust is “feeling safe when vulnerable.” Being apprehensive around the vaccine is valid. However, if it has not earned your trust just yet, allow your mind to change over time and base decisions on scientific facts.

As for the exciting Super Bowl coming on February 7th, 2021….I will simply repeat what everyone around is already saying,

"In Brady, we Trust."

~ MG