Superstitions

March 2016 was much awaited for everyone in my family. My sister in law and younger brother were going to be parents for the first time and I was going to be an aunt again. Although I was on a different continent, I eagerly waited for the phone to ring and was ready to do the happy dance. 

Early on the morning of March 12th, I received a message that my sister in law has started to have labor pains and is headed to the hospital. I was over the moon. We waited for hours to learn more but the progress was slow. Eventually my brother called to tell me that the doctors were considering a C section. My immediate response was, "Well, in that case, ask them to hurry up so that the little baby can be born on the 12th instead of the 13th." I didn't even realize what I had blurted out loud. My brother was calm and composed as usual, he firmly said, "I am not going to say anything superstitious to the doctor. I only want my wife and baby to be safe and healthy. I don't believe in silly things like that." I felt ashamed and small minded. Why would I say a thing like that? Who thinks like that in the 21st century? 

Although there is no single definition of superstition, it generally means a belief in supernatural forces and the desire to influence unpredictable factors with a need to resolve uncertainty. In this way, individual beliefs and experiences drive superstitions, which explains why they are generally irrational and often defy current scientific wisdom. 

There is a long list of superstitions. More popular ones are:

Black cat crossing your path Walking under a Ladder  Breaking a Mirror  Knock on Wood  Groom seeing the Bride the night before the Wedding  Cross your Fingers  Bird Shit is a sign of Good Luck 

Some less common, but equally valid are:

The number 666 Opening an Umbrella indoors  Itchy hands may signal influx of Money  Reciting the name of the Lord while passing scissors or other sharp objects  Not trimming nails after sunset  And many more….. 

We learn some superstitions from our seniors and we create some superstitions in our own heads. We all have them either constantly or occasionally, but we do. Sometimes superstitions are proven wrong right before our eyes, it's still hard to shake our beliefs in them. We most likely continue to practice them irrespective of the results. 

On the brave front, superstitions may sound weak but there are certain benefits to it. Superstitions are like magic. They make you believe in yourself and in turn bring confidence through the process of believing. It's almost like a placebo effect. It's a trick that our mind plays on us and makes us perform better. 

If someone told you that you have been given a lucky golf ball which almost certainly will go into the hole easily, you already have a better chance of winning because you believe it. Somehow it helps reduce stress and increase confidence which in-turn brings out a better performance. There are meaningful physiological benefits to having some superstitions because it gives us the illusion of control especially in uncertain situations.

My maternal grandfather had gifted my dear father a gold ring with 4 prominent squarish diamonds. It is always on my dad's finger. I had once asked him, "Do you like wearing this ring?" He smiled and explained, "Ever since I was gifted this, life has been good. It has proven to be very lucky for me. Once in a while, if I remove it simply for a few days, things don't go well for me. Hence, I never remove it now." Needless to say, my father got a custom made ring, very similar to his own, for my GoodMan. After our wedding, my father asked him to never remove it. My GoodMan has diligently worn it ever since. There are some things we do out of belief and certain things we do out of respect.

"Superstitions come from traditions and your upbringing – people teach you superstitions; you're not born believing in Friday the 13th or that if you step on a crack, you'll break your mother's back," says Stuart Vyse, a psychologist in Stonington, Connecticut, and author of "Believing in Magic: The Psychology of Superstition." "They also come from the uncertainty of life – if you have something you desire that you cannot make sure will happen, you might engage in superstitious behavior."

For many people, engaging with superstitious behaviors provides a sense of control and reduces anxiety – which is why levels of superstition increase at times of stress and angst. A beloved power couple in our neighborhood have this ritual. They do not verbally wish each other "good luck" before important milestones. It is something they believe works for them. They are truly inspiring high achievers who bring light to life.

The custom of superstition is highly prevalent within sports as well. Four out of five professional athletes report engaging with at least one superstitious behavior prior to performance. Within sports, superstitions have been shown to reduce tension and provide a sense of control over unpredictable, chance factors. While leading the Chicago Bulls to six NBA championships during his legendary career, Michael Jordan, the five-time MVP wore his University of North Carolina shorts under his uniform in every game. Serena Williams brings her shower sandals to the court, ties her shoelaces a specific way and bounces the ball five times before her first serve and twice before her second. Sachin Tendulkar confessed to always wearing his left pad first before a game of cricket. Tiger Woods always wore a red shirt for major games. These legends are also humans like you and me. Sports fans however, have their own superstitions which is a whole different level.

Just like everything else, we must look over the importance we are giving to superstitions in our life. Remind yourself to control them and not allow them to control you. If one constantly relies on notions and beliefs that have no scientific evidence, we might be vulnerable to making irrational decisions.

On the beautiful morning of March 13th 2016, my charming little nephew was born with 10 little fingers and 10 little toes. He is the apple of my eye and I would never change anything about him. I consider 13th to be absolutely perfect.

My GoodMan covertly plans that one day, he will gift a gold ring with 4 brilliant diamonds to our future son in law ;)

Some Superstitions do transform into Traditions.

~ MG