Happiness Is ...

One warm afternoon, my kind-hearted son asked me, "Mummy I feel so happy for no reason. Is that a good thing?" I smiled and told him, "It's the best attitude to be happy without a reason. If you were happy for a reason, that reason can be taken away from you anytime. You don't need a reason to be happy."

Children are naturally born to be happy. They find joy in simple things. Jumping on their bed, running around, singing, dancing, playing, building and almost everything. They know how to be happy without being taught. This is one simple virtue that human beings are born with. If you ask a child what made him happy today, he'll easily be able to list at least 3 reasons for his happiness. The same question for an adult will be difficult to answer. We lose the sight of simple joys with age. We sometimes don't even know how to be Happy. It's the society that tampers with this natural attitude of mankind. Society defines happiness with wealth, success and achievement. People tend to believe that happiness is directly proportional to the amount of money one earns or has inherited. That is very rarely true!

"Happiness is the secret to all beauty. There is no beauty without happiness." - Christian Dior

People around the world set out on a pursuit of happiness. Little do they realize that it is within themselves. Happiness is in your very own hands. By counting on other people, a job or something materialistic to make you feel happy, you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Insecure people tend to need validation from others to define their own happiness. Don't put the key to your happiness in someone else's pocket. Happiness is different for everyone and constantly changes over time. For my GoodMan, happiness is being with friends. My son defines happiness as being on a football field. Happiness for my daughter is being on stage.

I remember a story I had read in a children's book. Once upon a time there was a crow living in the forest and he was absolutely satisfied with his life. One day, he saw a swan. He thought “That swan is so white, and I’m so black. She must be the happiest bird in the world.”

He went to the swan and he showed his admiration to her, but the swan replied: “You know what? I thought I was the happiest bird in the world too, until I saw the parrot. He’s got 2 colors. The parrot is so beautiful. Now I think the parrot is the happiest bird in the world.”

The crow went to the parrot to see how happy he was, but while he was expressing his admiration to the parrot, the parrot suddenly interrupted and said: “I thought I was the happiest and most beautiful bird in the world too until I saw the peacock. He’s got so many colors. The peacock is for sure the happiest and most beautiful bird on this planet”

Then the crow went to the peacock, but the only place he could find him was at the zoo. There the peacock was surrounded by hundreds of people. Everyone was admiring his beauty and magnificence. After the people had left, the crow went to the peacock and said “You’re full of splendor, beautiful peacock. Every day thousands of people come to see you. When people see me, they immediately throw rocks at me. I think you are the happiest bird on the planet.” The peacock replied, “I always thought that I was the most beautiful and happy bird on the planet. But because of my beauty, I am imprisoned in this zoo. And since I have been here I have never seen a crow kept in a cage. So for the past few days, I have been thinking that if I were a crow, I’d be happy because I could roam everywhere.”

We compare ourselves with others and then sabotage our happiness. We forget the true gifts that life has given us and we fall into a vicious cycle of unhappiness. We look at what we don’t have instead of looking at what we have to be happy. It's also referred to the 99 club. This club is made up of people who have 99 things going for them but are struggling to find one more thing to make it 100. Instead of enjoying the 99 they already have, they are mourning the one they don't have.

A content and satisfied life brews happiness. They say true happiness is only possible when what you say, think, and do are all in accordance. In most cases, it's the journey, which is nurtured with love and wisdom, towards a worthy goal that brings a true sense of happiness. The goal by itself does not bring joy. Winning a gold medal after running a competitive race is going to bring happiness. If we were handed a gold medal just because, then it would mean nothing.

Happiness is contagious. There are some individuals who always bring happiness to the table. When in their company, happiness floats. The World seems hopeful and happy. Then are some who will always have complaints and worry to put out. They sniff out every ounce of delight from life. I have learned to make a conscious effort to surround myself with people who spread joy. It may sound selfish but this is necessary for our own personal happiness. We cannot choose our family but we must not feel guilty to pick who gets to be our friend.

Dr. Russ Harris points out in his book, The Happiness Trap, expecting to feel happy all of the time has major pitfalls. But it is possible to be happier more of the time and to experience a higher quality happiness than you have ever felt before. Having goals is necessary, but it does not create happiness. So instead of goals look for what you value. If you value family time, then make it home in time for dinner. That's your recipe for happiness. If you value money, your recipe for happiness will be to work hard and strive for a higher position and status. If one values making the world a better place, then volunteering will be the recipe for your happiness.

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything, they make the best of everything." - Oprah Winfrey

Happiness is …. a cup of tea.

Happiness is …. a text message from a friend.

Happiness is …. having a favorite meal.

Happiness is …. reading a good book.

Happiness is …. listening to a beautiful song.

Happiness is …. watching your sports team win.

Happiness is …. holding a bottle of Nutella.

Happiness is …. walking with your partner.

Happiness is …. losing weight.

Happiness is …. being at a fun party.

Happiness is …. buying a new dress.

Happiness is …. scoring the winning goal.

Happiness is …. being at the beach.

Happiness is …. having ice-cream.

Happiness is …. warm hug from a child.

Happiness is homemade :)

~ MG