Gratitude

When I started writing blogs, I had not envisioned the number of people who would read and respond to it. People encouraged me and offered their honest suggestions. Many were curious and inquired about my approach to writing. Every question and query showed me that people felt involved in my work. One of the most common questions was, "How do you come up with a title/topic for your blog?" People requested me to write about Black Lives Matter, Kindness, Gun Control and many more. One such recommendation came from an esteemed friend who suggested that I write about Gratitude. I sincerely thanked her but started marveling … Why would gratitude be important? 2020 has been one of the most difficult years. There hasn't been any good headlines yet. To ask people if they feel gratitude, will be like asking for cold water in a hot desert.

Gratitude is the quality of being thankful and the readiness to show appreciation for and to return kindness. To my surprise, even though we were in difficult times, the social media was filled with messages of Gratitude. Everyone preached that even though we are in a lock down there is so much to be thankful for. People repeatedly announced ...

I am Happy and Healthy The World is Healing It's not a Curfew… It's Care for You Doctors are working day and night The Earth is becoming a better place to Live And many more….

It was unanimous and in unison. I was pleased and impressed. Being thankful does not make the situation better but helps us to deal with it better. It makes us appreciate what we have as compared to what we are deprived of. For instance, we can say we are lucky to be surrounded by technology that connects us socially even though we are physically distant. (Social distancing actually stood for physical distancing only)

Studies have found a significant association between higher levels of gratitude and that of well-being, including protection from stress and depression, more fulfilling relationships, better sleep and greater resilience. People who have the "attitude of gratitude" tend to be more positive and optimistic. They believe in themselves, have faith in the good and create endless possibilities.

“Gratitude is a vaccine, an antitoxin, and an antiseptic.” —John Henry Jowet

My GoodMan often emphasizes to our two spoiled brats, "Count your Blessings!" They seem to feel entitled to everything that their hearts desire. Both take everything for granted and not with gratitude. Instilling Gratitude is more difficult than teaching children other virtues like responsibility and honesty. My cool-headed sister in law recently shared her insight on this matter. She explained, "We have seen slums and poverty up close in India on a regular basis. We have seen the difficult life that many struggle with so we are naturally grateful for the life we live. Our children here don't see the drastic imbalance of wealth distribution. In a developed country, almost everyone has basic needs met and the government offers a great cushion to fall on. It's hard for kids here to imagine how the rest of the World is fighting a battle of survival." I agree, she did have a point. Our children are blessed and surrounded by people in a town that seems near perfect. Everyone is living a comfortable life not much different from their own. Seeing is believing.

Despite this, gratitude should be encouraged to children by communicating, gifting or simply greeting. We need to practice what we wish to preach. It is an inexpensive medicine for good health and has the most definitive results. This simple act, if practiced as a personality trait, can improve psychological health, lower stress, help you sleep better, feel happier, lower the risk of depression, improve your relationships among many other advantages. It spreads joy.

Allow me to share with you a simple story written by Nick Ortner:

A blind boy sat on the steps of a building with a hat by his feet. He held up a sign which read, “I am blind, please help.”

There were only a few coins in the hat – spare change from folks as they hurried past. A man was walking by. He took a few coins from his pocket and dropped them into the hat. He then took the sign, turned it around, and wrote some words. Then he put the sign back in the boy’s hand so that everyone who walked by would see the new words.

Soon the hat began to fill up. A lot more people were giving money to the blind boy. That afternoon, the man who had changed the sign returned to see how things were. The boy recognized his footsteps and asked, “Were you the one who changed my sign this morning? What did you write?”

The man said, “I only wrote the truth. I said what you said but in a different way.” I wrote, “Today is a beautiful day, but I cannot see it.” Both signs spoke the truth. But the first sign simply said the boy was blind, while the second sign conveyed to everyone that he was grateful for a beautiful day.

Feeling gratitude should not be delayed. Many will say, "I'll be thankful when I am able buy a home" or "I'll feel grateful when I can afford a luxury car" etc … Only to hit the reality that these don't really define our inner happiness. Almost half the world, over three billion people, live on less than $2.50 a day. 1.1 billion people have inadequate access to clean water, and 2.6 billion lack basic sanitation. When these facts sink in, Gratitude will rise.

It is important however not to overemphasis the strengths of Gratitude because it can be counter productive in certain situations. Take for instance, if a friend is the victim of an abusive relationship, I would never ask her to express gratitude. It is wrong to make her be grateful for anything when she is suffering. That’s going to break her spirit. She will lose the courage to fight for a better life. We need to have the courage to say it as it is and express our true emotions. Suppression of feelings is not human. The true meaning of being alive is not just to feel happy, but to experience the full range of human emotions. Even a habit of gratitude is not necessarily the right choice all the time. While such situations may just be a handful, we can't completely discard them.

Hopefully for the rest of us, we can try and find something to be grateful for. It helps us enjoy the things we have and keep us grounded. Gratitude is not only for the majorly blessed. It is a choice and an asset that few can afford. It is free to all but few manifest it. Happiness does not necessarily bring gratitude but, Gratitude definitely brings happiness.

Today, I am filled with gratitude towards you for reading my blog :)

~ MG