Fatherhood

As a child, I never had a worry in the World. I never thought anyone had any problems. I thought I was absolutely perfect and completely flawless. I believed that Life was beautiful.

All this is because … My Dad made me believe it.

My father seemed to have answers to every question, solution for every problem and an unquestionable faith in the good in the World. There was not a thing that my dad could not fix. He was brave and fearless. He had self confidence and a great personality. Nothing was impossible for him. He knew how to make me happy like no one else.

Once when I had a bitter fight with my two brothers, I went to him, all heated up and questioned, "Why do I have two brothers and no sister? How in the World is that fair? Why would you do this to me? I need a sister and you have to get me one!". All this when I was probably 7 years old. That day, my dad took me by the hand and spoke to me softly as usual and explained, "You know that you are special to us because you are the only girl we have. If you had a sister, we would expect you to share your dolls, toys and hair clips with her. We would buy similar clothes for both of you. She may have wanted everything that you now have just for yourself. Would you have liked it?". At that very instant, I realized that I would not like that one bit. Keeping my pride, I said, "Well, in that case, I guess I am fine being the only girl in this house". I never questioned again. From the silliest of arguments to the biggest of challenges, he was my guide, My Super Hero!

The World is naturally biased to the role a mother plays in raising a child and a father almost never gets the credit he so often deserves. Yes, a mother undeniably bears a child for 9 months and in most cases, feeds and nurtures an offspring longer than a father but, a father offers the silent support that is mostly blindsided. Being a father is harder than you imagine. A mother carries and feels a child long before it enters the world. On the other hand, a father has to watch and learn how the baby is growing. It doesn't come as naturally as it comes for a mother who can feel the kicks and cravings long before she can hold her child. Even after the child arrives, a father sometimes has to stop in the middle of a working day, and remind himself that he is now the father of a little one at home.

There is a monumental difference in the contribution that dads today make as compared to previous generations. These days, fathers help out with meals, pick up and drop off to activities and classes, reading bedtime stories and many more. Father’s should note that traits and rituals they pass down to their children, often unwittingly, are partially through DNA but much more through demonstration. Children often look up to their fathers for character expectations and standards. Fathers may feel that their children don't listen to their advice but remember they are always watching you to lead by example. From how you meet and greet friends and colleagues to how you are shopping, how you watch a football match to how you eat at a restaurant, how you manage your work and worship, how you earn and save for the future to how much you donate, how you celebrate victories to how you manage disappointments, it all counts! Everything you do, inspires your children to make good choices and be good people.

The World has given dads the wonderful privilege and responsibility of leading the home and protecting their family – financially, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. Well-fathered children are shown to be more emotionally intelligent and socially successful as adults. Dad's offer a safety net for children to feel sheltered and secure. When fathers are absent, their absence may negatively impact children’s academic achievement, gender-specific development, general behavioral adjustment and anger management. They are more likely to be suffering from teen pregnancy, substance abuse, poverty, obesity and even lack of education. These children often feel vulnerable and exposed.

My GoodMan grew up without a father. His parents had separated when he was a toddler. His brave and devoted mother raised him all by herself. It's more grueling than one can imagine. Nevertheless, I am proud of the effort my GoodMan makes to be involved in raising our two ever demanding children. Probably more so because he knows what he has missed in his lifetime.

All children complain that their fathers often embarrass them in front of their friends, dress outdated, are boring and give useless advice. Children ween that their fathers know nothing! In response, Charles Wadsworth famously quoted, ”By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he is wrong.”

In an ever challenging world of crazy tides, father's offer an anchor which is like a safe haven. Remember, your children need you. They need your strong hands and steadfast support in this circus of the World. They are desperate for your voice, touch, strength, help, counsel, affection, leadership, godly wisdom, courage, and much more. Our culture desperately needs you. The entire world is counting on you.

Father’s Day is a necessary reminder to acknowledge that. My own father comically says, "It's just a concept to boost the economy. People are going to buy cards, coffee, chocolates, cakes, cuff-links, cell phones, Captain America t-shirts etc … for father's around the World." He continues, "It's a whole business game plan. People get an excuse to shop and businesses get more sales. Win Win for all!". I don't agree with him on this one. I think Fathers should be recognized and appreciated not just one day in a year but, at least one day a year. They sure deserve it. From learning to walk, to riding a bike and eventually getting behind the wheel........They have held our hand through it all. We have a lot to be thankful for.

So this year, on June 21st, reach out to Dad, Papa, Bha, Dada, Baba, Abu, Pitaji or however you may address your dear father … Give him a hug if possible, make a call and do whatever it takes to connect with him and wish him a very Happy Father's Day! Tell him that he matters. Know that he is irreplaceable. Make an effort to let him know that you care and love him.

As an adult, I don't worry about anything. I believe there is a solution for every problem. I am far from perfect but constantly working on my flaws. I know that Life is beautiful. All this is because ... My Dad's got my back!

Happy Father's Day, Papa!

P.S. Every man knows how to become a father,

Not every man knows how to be one.

~ MG