Destiny

On November 8th, 2016 the eyes of the World were on America. America was ready to finally have its very first woman President. People were eager to celebrate and welcome the new wave of leadership. The choice was crystal clear. There was one candidate who had done everything to empower herself. She was a former first lady (1993 - 2001), a senator from New York (2001 - 2009) and had held the title of Secretary of State (2009 - 2013). Polished to perfection one may say. The other was a businessman and a reality TV star who had no ethics or standards. He had no filters or level of decency. He confessed to ideas and behavior that the public found unacceptable. Every time he spoke, people thought he had hit rock bottom only to realize that he is a bottomless pit.

Election night seemed the final straw. The circus would be over and normalcy would take place. My kids were only 10 & 8 years old then, but I encouraged them to get involved with this historic event. Their school had held pretend elections and declared the woman to be victorious. Everything seemed jovial and cheerful. Although the kids begged to stay up on election night, I assured them that there won't be any surprises and tucked them in bed. By midnight, our biggest fears were recognized. The unbelievable had happened. It felt like a wild nightmare.

With a heavy heart, I dragged myself to bed but couldn't sleep that night. The next morning, I told the kids the results of the elections and they felt cheated, “Mummy you are joking. You had told us this was impossible.” It took them a while to grasp that I was very serious. To justify this, I added, “The only way to explain this turn of events is, Destiny. He was destined to win so no matter the number of things he did wrong or the number of times he axed his own leg, he still came out victorious.” The kids gave up because it felt helpless to argue against Destiny.

Between then and now, I have often wondered if it is right to actually blame Destiny when things don’t go as expected. The true facts are that the elected president won 304 electoral votes and the runner up had 227 electoral votes. Yes, he had fewer than 2 million popular votes compared to that of the woman candidate but well, the American Democracy is built on the number of electoral votes and not popular votes. The final results probably reflect the more intelligent and competitive candidate. To say it was Destiny is almost giving it an excuse for a battle won fair and square.

When we cannot understand something we say Destiny. When we land the job of our dream, we believe it was hard earned. However, if we are declined, we say it wasn’t in our destiny. If we are unable to earn a new client or contract, we say it probably wasn’t meant to be. However, if we do earn it, we say we deserved it. Using the phrase, it was destiny, makes us relieve the responsibility of our actions. Individuals who frequently tend to blame destiny may sound a little coward.

“It is not in our stars to hold our destiny, but in ourselves” ~ William Shakespeare

Our destiny is decided by our choices and chances. Very little is based on coincidence. Destiny can be defined to matters of life beyond our jurisdiction, for example, it is destiny that decides where we are born, if we are healthy at birth and so on. Things that cannot be deciphered fall as destiny. Matters that we do not take the responsibility for are labeled destiny. Destiny may decide if one is born with a silver spoon but it is determination and dedication that will predict if one can afford a silver spoon.

My son played flag football in Grade 4 and started playing tackle football in Grade 5. Within the first few weeks, he had his mind set to quit. It's a tough sport with rigorous training that required a fearless passion. My boy is a lean kid who worried about breaking his bones. His coaches however, encouraged him not to chuck so soon. When they found out that he had been playing soccer since kindergarten and had a strong leg, they nurtured his talent towards the role of a kicker on the football team. They motivated him and trained him well. Soon enough, he found his passion and worked hard towards it. By the time he was in 7th Grade, he kicked off every football game and scored extra points after many touchdowns. Team players would cheer him on and the town would celebrate. Children at school would look at him and say, "I know you. You are the kicker on the Westborough Rangers Football team."

Perseverance and patience assisted his achievements. Was he destined to be the kicker on his Football Team? No, he was all set to give up. It was his coaches who believed in him and guided him. He in turn worked hard to earn that position and prestige. There is no denying that he was blessed to be under the leadership of disciplinary coaches who brought out his talent and strength, but he created his own destiny.

Is it harmful to believe in destiny? Perhaps not. Nevertheless, the biggest disadvantage of this ideology is that it will restrict you from reaching your true potential. It will let you believe that many things are beyond your reach. Destiny is real but we should not give it power over ourselves. We are not bystanders in our own life.

Let's look at two different scenarios.

In the first one, my GoodMan goes to a gas station, selects the best combination of numbers and buys a lottery ticket for MegaMillions. He waits hopefully and prays daily, yet on the day of the drawing, he does not win. Not even a single dollar. Why is that? The answer is Destiny.

In the other scenario, my GoodMan doesn't go to the gas station, does not select any numbers and does not buy any lottery ticket. He still waits in hopes of winning and prays. However, on the day of the drawing, he did not win again. This is not Destiny, but him being futile.

Many times we put our mind and heart into something but still come up short. Things don't always turn out how we expect. Under such circumstances, there is no denying that giving someone the comfort of Destiny is necessary. When people feel hopeless or heartbroken, helping support them under the faith of destiny is harmless. Healing a broken heart is always worth it. When comforting another human, justifying disappointments as destiny is acceptable. Using destiny as an excuse for not putting an effort, that is noxious. Our choices shape our destiny and based on what we choose, follow our passion and curiosity, work hard, trust and have faith, destiny unfolds in the most magical ways. Become a master of your own Destiny.

“The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be” ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson.

At the end of the day, if the president of the United States is reelected in 2020, would I call it Destiny?

Certainly not!

I will merely vote.

~ MG